








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14 | 6% |
| Smokes | 46 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 72 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 89 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $174,740 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bosh | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Prepaiddddツ | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | DaddyBoah | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | enkidu | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | Busternut | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | FlabbyTurtle | 34% | 64 |
| #7 | Mother Nature | 31% | 16 |
| #8 | kronos | 28% | 53 |
| #9 | Diggol | 24% | 41 |
| #10 | Lockets | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prepaiddddツ | 4 | 0.0208 |
| #2 | kronos | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Diggol | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | FlabbyTurtle | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Mother Nature | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kronos | 161 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mother Nature | 87 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | FlabbyTurtle | 82 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Busternut | 35 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | bosh | 35 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mother Nature | +4.09 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | Lockets | +2.98 | 68 | 31 |
| #3 | FlabbyTurtle | +2.92 | 85 | 56 |
| #4 | DaddyBoah | +2.53 | 80 | 23 |
| #5 | bosh | +1.55 | 78 | 83 |





