








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 240 | 24% |
| Smokes | 221 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 417 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 120 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,930 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prepaiddddツ | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Lockets | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | neyu | 35% | 23 |
| #4 | kronos | 33% | 57 |
| #5 | Diggol | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | neyu | 35% | 23 |
| #4 | kronos | 33% | 57 |
| #5 | Diggol | 31% | 39 |
| #6 | FlabbyTurtle | 28% | 25 |
| #7 | Mother Nature | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diggol | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | kronos | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | FlabbyTurtle | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | neyu | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Prepaiddddツ | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kronos | 165 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | FlabbyTurtle | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mother Nature | 40 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Prepaiddddツ | 15 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Lockets | 14 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mother Nature | +5.20 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | Lockets | +4.20 | 91 | 19 |
| #3 | FlabbyTurtle | +3.34 | 82 | 62 |
| #4 | kronos | +1.89 | 83 | 65 |
| #5 | Prepaiddddツ | +0.50 | 56 | 73 |





