








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 401 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10073 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4873 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6814 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5741 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5750 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,527,695 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ank โข | 56% | 97 |
| #2 | ๐
๐๐ฑ๐ธ | 54% | 105 |
| #3 | fitymafรฉk kapitรกny | 52% | 46 |
| #4 | T รถ k i k e e | 52% | 110 |
| #5 | Nasi | 49% | 413 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nasi | 37 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | fitymafรฉk kapitรกny | 18 | 0.0231 |
| #3 | ank โข | 13 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | T รถ k i k e e | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | ๐
๐๐ฑ๐ธ | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nasi | 841 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #2 | ๐
๐๐ฑ๐ธ | 285 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | ank โข | 284 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | T รถ k i k e e | 223 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | fitymafรฉk kapitรกny | 106 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐๐ฎ๐ท๐ท๐ | +3.46 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | Nasi | +0.78 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | T รถ k i k e e | -1.15 | 23 | 55 |
| #4 | fitymafรฉk kapitรกny | -2.21 | 38 | 60 |
| #5 | ank โข | -3.10 | 14 | 70 |





