








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 395 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 202 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9418 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9357 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 11410 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8557 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $741,374 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Nasi | 49% | 43 |
| #9 | 𝑅𝒜𝒱𝐸 | 46% | 242 |
| #10 | requal | 46% | 122 |
| #11 | T ö k i k e e | 44% | 214 |
| #12 | ZedRTZ | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓷𝔂 | 18 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | T ö k i k e e | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | BOT YAKUZA | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | 𝑅𝒜𝒱𝐸 | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | requal | 8 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝑅𝒜𝒱𝐸 | 655 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | BOT YAKUZA | 539 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | T ö k i k e e | 357 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | requal | 279 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | 𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓷𝔂 | 166 | 0.09 | 3 min |





