








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 779 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 660 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6299 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,882 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5684 | 20% |
| Smokes | 9253 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 9832 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3113 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $904,005 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NEURO 420 CHICK3N | 55% | 51 |
| #2 | Mo 🔥 Fyah | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | 𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓷𝔂 | 52% | 110 |
| #4 | requal | 47% | 158 |
| #5 | 𝑅𝒜𝒱𝐸 | 45% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wrc.c0bra | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ank ™ | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | 𝓚𝓮𝓷𝓷𝔂 | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | requal | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | BOT YAKUZA | 6 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ank ™ | 655 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | wrc.c0bra | 392 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | requal | 378 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | ZedRTZ | 361 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | 𝑅𝒜𝒱𝐸 | 344 | 0.13 | 7 min |





