








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 460 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2048 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1703 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2258 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 920 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $809,636 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asdfdhxcrewqwe | 74% | 85 |
| #2 | gbrewqnrtd | 65% | 299 |
| #3 | Butterfinger | 64% | 107 |
| #4 | Quelle | 61% | 352 |
| #5 | Airbus A380 | 48% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | gbrewqnrtd | 65% | 299 |
| #3 | Butterfinger | 64% | 107 |
| #4 | Quelle | 61% | 352 |
| #5 | Airbus A380 | 48% | 71 |
| #6 | Hasbistick | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quelle | 53 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Butterfinger | 19 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | gbrewqnrtd | 18 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Airbus A380 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quelle | 502 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #2 | gbrewqnrtd | 342 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | Butterfinger | 104 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hasbistick | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | asdfdhxcrewqwe | 43 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inferno Hater #1 | +2.70 | 91 | 45 |
| #2 | gbrewqnrtd | +2.69 | 93 | 48 |
| #3 | Quelle | +1.07 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | Butterfinger | +0.57 | 72 | 41 |
| #5 | asdfdhxcrewqwe | -0.15 | 81 | 33 |





