








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,733 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3172 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4747 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3659 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4155 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,290,471 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Butterfinger | 69% | 117 |
| #2 | asdfdhxcrewqwe | 66% | 73 |
| #3 | gbrewqnrtd | 61% | 302 |
| #4 | Inferno Hater #1 | 61% | 352 |
| #5 | Airbus A380 | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | asdfdhxcrewqwe | 66% | 73 |
| #3 | gbrewqnrtd | 61% | 302 |
| #4 | Inferno Hater #1 | 61% | 352 |
| #5 | Airbus A380 | 50% | 50 |
| #6 | Hasbistick | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inferno Hater #1 | 41 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | gbrewqnrtd | 21 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Butterfinger | 21 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Airbus A380 | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inferno Hater #1 | 573 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #2 | gbrewqnrtd | 350 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | Butterfinger | 125 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | asdfdhxcrewqwe | 34 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hasbistick | 29 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gbrewqnrtd | +2.34 | 90 | 47 |
| #2 | Inferno Hater #1 | +2.23 | 90 | 44 |
| #3 | Quelle | +1.19 | 79 | 56 |
| #4 | Butterfinger | +0.60 | 72 | 42 |
| #5 | asdfdhxcrewqwe | -0.94 | 81 | 35 |





