








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 967 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2100 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2450 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2026 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $878,457 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asdfdhxcrewqwe | 79% | 34 |
| #2 | gbrewqnrtd | 71% | 82 |
| #3 | Quelle | 69% | 117 |
| #4 | Inferno Hater #1 | 64% | 107 |
| #5 | Sung Jin-Woo | 56% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quelle | 17 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Inferno Hater #1 | 16 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | donatello | 11 | 0.0133 |
| #4 | bomboclat | 8 | 0.0144 |
| #5 | gbrewqnrtd | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inferno Hater #1 | 222 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Quelle | 181 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | LARRY*MSI | 119 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sung Jin-Woo | 100 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | gbrewqnrtd | 97 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gbrewqnrtd | +3.16 | 94 | 50 |
| #2 | Gopnigg | +2.54 | 68 | 69 |
| #3 | Inferno Hater #1 | +2.22 | 88 | 47 |
| #4 | Quelle | +1.89 | 77 | 55 |
| #5 | Butterfinger | +1.67 | 75 | 42 |





