








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 483 | 21% |
| Smokes | 631 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 636 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 502 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $338,268 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asdfdhxcrewqwe | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Inferno Hater #1 | 45% | 51 |
| #3 | gbrewqnrtd | 44% | 54 |
| #4 | Quelle | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | Airbus A380 | 39% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Inferno Hater #1 | 45% | 51 |
| #3 | gbrewqnrtd | 44% | 54 |
| #4 | Quelle | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | Airbus A380 | 39% | 98 |
| #6 | Butterfinger | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inferno Hater #1 | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Airbus A380 | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Quelle | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | gbrewqnrtd | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Butterfinger | 1 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inferno Hater #1 | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | gbrewqnrtd | 43 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Quelle | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Airbus A380 | 34 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | asdfdhxcrewqwe | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inferno Hater #1 | +3.78 | 89 | 37 |
| #2 | Quelle | +2.23 | 81 | 37 |
| #3 | gbrewqnrtd | +1.41 | 81 | 52 |
| #4 | asdfdhxcrewqwe | +1.16 | 78 | 25 |
| #5 | Airbus A380 | -0.34 | 67 | 34 |





