








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,934 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1825 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1814 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1553 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1742 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $630,922 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAJAKAS | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | Aksmens | 65% | 46 |
| #3 | RRRRRRRR | 63% | 67 |
| #4 | Pepe | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | B0obai | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RRRRRRRR | 338 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | Menyerang Goslings | 162 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Aksmens | 102 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | B0obai | 94 | 0.37 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ghostless | 87 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aksmens | +3.25 | 88 | 55 |
| #2 | RRRRRRRR | +0.94 | 64 | 73 |
| #3 | KRJ | +0.38 | 80 | 60 |
| #4 | Pepe | +0.24 | 81 | 53 |
| #5 | Menyerang Goslings | +0.00 | 71 | 64 |





