








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 416 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4102 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3673 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3854 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2174 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,101,438 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KRJ | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | Crystal2l2 | 59% | 49 |
| #3 | Menyerang Goslings | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | Pepe | 59% | 58 |
| #5 | Ма1н лучший стрелo | 57% | 44 |





