








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1779 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2767 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2090 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1692 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1712 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $533,227 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamSoms | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | koolstof | 58% | 52 |
| #3 | KRJ | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | ₥₳₦1₭ | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Mello Shelby Sigma - ✪ M - <3 | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Menyerang Goslings | 52% | 50 |
| #7 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | 𝘄 𝟭 𝗖 𝗞 𝗘 𝗗 | 46% | 35 |
| #9 | ouleh | 38% | 16 |
| #10 | Kr0tto | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koolstof | 17 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | 𝘄 𝟭 𝗖 𝗞 𝗘 𝗗 | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | SamSoms | 4 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | ouleh | 4 | 0.0134 |
| #5 | Menyerang Goslings | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Menyerang Goslings | 168 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | 𝘄 𝟭 𝗖 𝗞 𝗘 𝗗 | 119 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | koolstof | 80 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | KRJ | 70 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | ₥₳₦1₭ | 64 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝘄 𝟭 𝗖 𝗞 𝗘 𝗗 | +3.91 | 80 | 50 |
| #2 | Ḫ̵͆à̶̈́V̵̾̿̀ơ̴C̸ | +3.50 | 91 | 82 |
| #3 | Kr0tto | +2.57 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | koolstof | -0.03 | 73 | 30 |
| #5 | KRJ | -0.07 | 76 | 74 |





