








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2390 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1857 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 304 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 1313 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $334,442 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GenPapaJ | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | StiffySupreme | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | hamz⭕⃤ ็ | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | duhkoder | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | RevI700 | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SwiFTy | 55% | 11 |
| #8 | tynomite | 53% | 74 |
| #9 | [300 u/s] I<3Lucario | 52% | 61 |
| #10 | wildpickle31 | 49% | 63 |
| #11 | Exactions | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StiffySupreme | 8 | 0.0259 |
| #2 | GenPapaJ | 7 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | A|B | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | wildpickle31 | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | RevI700 | 3 | 0.0169 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A|B | 768 | 0.40 | 23 min |
| #2 | [300 u/s] I<3Lucario | 301 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #3 | tynomite | 290 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #4 | wildpickle31 | 97 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Exactions | 77 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hamz⭕⃤ ็ | +3.64 | 83 | 56 |
| #2 | tynomite | +1.87 | 58 | 80 |
| #3 | GenPapaJ | +1.76 | 79 | 33 |
| #4 | GrimReaper | +0.80 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | [300 u/s] I<3Lucario | +0.54 | 74 | 68 |





