








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 313 matches | ||
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3148 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3050 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4820 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4037 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,401,370 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | don1 | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | tynomite | 51% | 92 |
| #3 | SwiFTy | 51% | 95 |
| #4 | GrimReaper | 49% | 63 |
| #5 | [300 u/s] I<3Lucario | 49% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | [300 u/s] I<3Lucario | 49% | 80 |
| #6 | A|B | 49% | 286 |
| #7 | duhkoder | 48% | 62 |
| #8 | Exactions | 44% | 94 |
| #9 | BOT FrAg | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A|B | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Exactions | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | SwiFTy | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | duhkoder | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | tynomite | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A|B | 2661 | 0.44 | 80 min |
| #2 | SwiFTy | 458 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | [300 u/s] I<3Lucario | 397 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #4 | tynomite | 353 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #5 | GrimReaper | 342 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exactions | +1.00 | 76 | 63 |
| #2 | [300 u/s] I<3Lucario | +0.71 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | tynomite | +0.66 | 54 | 79 |
| #4 | A|B | +0.58 | 27 | 84 |
| #5 | duhkoder | +0.42 | 76 | 65 |





