








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 151 matches | ||
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2885 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2723 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2582 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2228 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,519 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tynomite | 59% | 73 |
| #2 | [300 u/s] I<3Lucario | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | SwiFTy | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | A|B | 52% | 251 |
| #5 | wildpickle31 | 44% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | wildpickle31 | 44% | 94 |
| #6 | duhkoder | 42% | 31 |
| #7 | don1 | 42% | 24 |
| #8 | GrimReaper | 41% | 34 |
| #9 | BOT FrAg | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A|B | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | wildpickle31 | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | SwiFTy | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | BOT FrAg | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | [300 u/s] I<3Lucario | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A|B | 2082 | 0.41 | 61 min |
| #2 | [300 u/s] I<3Lucario | 300 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | tynomite | 267 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | GrimReaper | 161 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | don1 | 149 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exactions | +0.90 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | tynomite | +0.87 | 59 | 78 |
| #3 | [300 u/s] I<3Lucario | +0.74 | 72 | 71 |
| #4 | A|B | +0.50 | 28 | 81 |
| #5 | don1 | -0.47 | 61 | 76 |





