








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 599 | 31% |
| Smokes | 239 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 572 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 504 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $389,895 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Lacinth | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | KRM | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | FlaX0 | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Hulk998 | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | pr1me | 51% | 68 |
| #7 | Knigge | 45% | 42 |
| #8 | jsh | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | Herde | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | ChriS' | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr1me | 10 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Knigge | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Noname | 3 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | KRM | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Hulk998 | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr1me | 258 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | KRM | 217 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | Knigge | 164 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hulk998 | 110 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | ChriS' | 44 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr1me | +2.11 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | Lacinth | +2.06 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | Hulk998 | +1.39 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | ChriS' | +1.39 | 90 | 39 |
| #5 | FlaX0 | +0.79 | 89 | 65 |





