








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 629 | 38% |
| Smokes | 271 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 287 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 474 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,963 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lacinth | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | FlaX0 | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | jsh | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Aslan40 ☾✰ | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Knigge | 52% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | KRM | 50% | 66 |
| #8 | pr1me | 49% | 68 |
| #9 | Hulk998 | 47% | 19 |
| #10 | puffy:[v] | 33% | 9 |
| #11 | Magsii | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr1me | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | FlaX0 | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Lacinth | 3 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | Knigge | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | KRM | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KRM | 336 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | pr1me | 216 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Knigge | 173 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hulk998 | 70 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | FlaX0 | 63 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lacinth | +5.15 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | ChriS' | +2.79 | 91 | 45 |
| #3 | puffy:[v] | +1.17 | 83 | 51 |
| #4 | Hulk998 | +0.55 | 68 | 61 |
| #5 | pr1me | +0.11 | 85 | 66 |





