








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2013 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1110 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1462 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 811 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1094 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $702,502 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChriS' | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | NIGHTMARENIGHTMARENIGHTMARENIGHT | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | Hulk998 | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | KRM | 62% | 50 |
| #5 | Lacinth | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Knigge | 54% | 52 |
| #9 | CJ | 52% | 23 |
| #10 | Alec | 50% | 16 |
| #11 | ✪ Frozen® | 50% | 16 |
| #12 | NiVB3X | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr1me | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Knigge | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Lacinth | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | NIGHTMARENIGHTMARENIGHTMARENIGHT | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | ChriS' | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr1me | 262 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | KRM | 209 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | Knigge | 148 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | NIGHTMARENIGHTMARENIGHTMARENIGHT | 99 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | CJ | 90 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiVB3X | +3.02 | 96 | 46 |
| #2 | ChriS' | +2.12 | 91 | 40 |
| #3 | Lacinth | +1.90 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | Hulk998 | +1.70 | 82 | 63 |
| #5 | NIGHTMARENIGHTMARENIGHTMARENIGHT | +1.18 | 90 | 66 |





