








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 758 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 483 matches | ||
| Wingman | 225 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8235 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7492 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6109 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7485 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,227,263 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1702 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lacinth | 69% | 58 |
| #2 | FlaX0 | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | Magsii | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | pr1me | 55% | 726 |
| #5 | Knigge | 54% | 265 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Magsii | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | pr1me | 55% | 726 |
| #5 | Knigge | 54% | 265 |
| #6 | Aslan40 ☾✰ | 50% | 54 |
| #7 | ChriS' | 50% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr1me | 27 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Knigge | 18 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Lacinth | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | ChriS' | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Magsii | 6 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr1me | 1416 | 0.11 | 35 min |
| #2 | Knigge | 943 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #3 | Aslan40 ☾✰ | 162 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Lacinth | 150 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | ChriS' | 139 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lacinth | +3.41 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | ChriS' | +3.13 | 91 | 46 |
| #3 | pr1me | +1.35 | 84 | 58 |
| #4 | Knigge | +0.82 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | FlaX0 | +0.68 | 87 | 55 |





