










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 36 | 11% |
| Smokes | 120 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 125 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 61 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $477,741 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quiet | 42% | 128 |
| #2 | GRIMYGUAM | 41% | 73 |
| #3 | conor | 38% | 13 |
| #4 | Mike Hoxwolen | 28% | 18 |
| #5 | ♿ | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | GRIMYGUAM | 41% | 73 |
| #3 | conor | 38% | 13 |
| #4 | Mike Hoxwolen | 28% | 18 |
| #5 | ♿ | 27% | 11 |
| #6 | FlickOfDaWrist | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quiet | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | GRIMYGUAM | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quiet | 518 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | GRIMYGUAM | 125 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mike Hoxwolen | 73 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | conor | 18 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | ♿ | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quiet | +6.38 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | GRIMYGUAM | +0.79 | 54 | 50 |
| #3 | ♿ | -4.18 | 42 | 27 |
| #4 | FlickOfDaWrist | -4.88 | 12 | 51 |
| #5 | Hypzotix | -5.39 | 33 | 9 |





