










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 267 | 52% |
| Smokes | 61 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 171 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 16 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $141,083 of utility $286 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | conor | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | ♿ | 33% | 6 |
| #3 | Quiet | 28% | 25 |
| #4 | Hypzotix | 28% | 18 |
| #5 | GRIMYGUAM | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ♿ | 33% | 6 |
| #3 | Quiet | 28% | 25 |
| #4 | Hypzotix | 28% | 18 |
| #5 | GRIMYGUAM | 24% | 17 |
| #6 | FlickOfDaWrist | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quiet | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quiet | 86 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | GRIMYGUAM | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Hypzotix | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | ♿ | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | conor | 5 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quiet | +5.16 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | GRIMYGUAM | +0.94 | 49 | 58 |
| #3 | FlickOfDaWrist | -3.31 | 19 | 46 |
| #4 | ♿ | -3.92 | 39 | 30 |
| #5 | Hypzotix | -4.66 | 29 | 16 |





