








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 2 different maps


Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
28 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 36 | 18% |
| Smokes | 40 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 109 | 54% |
| Molotovs | 18 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $58,400 of utility $283 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quiet | 20% | 10 |
| #2 | Mike Hoxwolen | 0% | 3 |
| #3 | GRIMYGUAM | 0% | 6 |
| #4 | Hypzotix | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quiet | 20% | 10 |
| #2 | Mike Hoxwolen | 0% | 3 |
| #3 | GRIMYGUAM | 0% | 6 |
| #4 | Hypzotix | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quiet | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quiet | 34 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Mike Hoxwolen | 11 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #3 | GRIMYGUAM | 10 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quiet | +5.57 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | GRIMYGUAM | -0.76 | 15 | 50 |
| #3 | FlickOfDaWrist | -4.91 | 13 | 57 |
| #4 | Hypzotix | -6.28 | 27 | 1 |
| #5 | Mike Hoxwolen | -6.40 | 14 | 42 |





