








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3876 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1716 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2484 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1524 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $947,029 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxnk | 50% | 114 |
| #2 | BigMatt | 48% | 190 |
| #3 | DJ Boggle | 45% | 161 |
| #4 | Ku | 44% | 142 |
| #5 | HunchoP | 43% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxnk | 50% | 114 |
| #2 | BigMatt | 48% | 190 |
| #3 | DJ Boggle | 45% | 161 |
| #4 | Ku | 44% | 142 |
| #5 | HunchoP | 43% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigMatt | 44 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Ku | 34 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | HunchoP | 24 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | pxnk | 18 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | DJ Boggle | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ Boggle | 700 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | pxnk | 576 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #3 | BigMatt | 331 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | HunchoP | 294 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ku | 286 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxnk | +4.13 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | BigMatt | +1.30 | 69 | 46 |
| #3 | HunchoP | +0.46 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | Ku | -0.08 | 73 | 55 |
| #5 | DJ Boggle | -0.56 | 67 | 65 |





