








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2873 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2795 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2650 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1859 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2632 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $762,859 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | pxnk | 43% | 93 |
| #4 | Jok3r | 43% | 115 |
| #5 | BigMatt | 39% | 152 |
| #6 | Ku | 38% | 130 |
| #7 | cheesydick | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigMatt | 33 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Ku | 19 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | pxnk | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Jok3r | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | DJ Boggle | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ Boggle | 670 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | pxnk | 437 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | Jok3r | 400 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | BigMatt | 304 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ku | 254 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxnk | +3.49 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | HunchoP | +0.46 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | BigMatt | +0.33 | 66 | 50 |
| #4 | DJ Boggle | -0.61 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | Ku | -0.64 | 69 | 52 |





