








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 192 matches | ||
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1484 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2733 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4218 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 2262 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,967,741 of utility $257 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Splich^^ | 48% | 73 |
| #2 | UnifoX | 45% | 201 |
| #3 | Euryfox | 45% | 121 |
| #4 | S1MPL1FI3D | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | XziBiTWaR | 43% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Euryfox | 45% | 121 |
| #4 | S1MPL1FI3D | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | XziBiTWaR | 43% | 145 |
| #6 | JohnJohn | 42% | 98 |
| #7 | Hashi^ 箸 | 38% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnifoX | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #2 | XziBiTWaR | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | Euryfox | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnJohn | 379 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | UnifoX | 341 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | XziBiTWaR | 319 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Splich^^ | 164 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Hashi^ 箸 | 142 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnJohn | +3.26 | 60 | 75 |
| #2 | Hashi^ 箸 | +3.24 | 64 | 83 |
| #3 | Splich^^ | +1.45 | 67 | 80 |
| #4 | S1MPL1FI3D | +0.24 | 58 | 43 |
| #5 | UnifoX | -0.13 | 48 | 72 |





