








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 849 matches | ||
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 445 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10399 | 23% |
| Smokes | 9451 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 14383 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 10658 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,350,697 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 592 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUPREME KING | 52% | 99 |
| #2 | Splich^^ | 49% | 540 |
| #3 | JohnJohn | 48% | 442 |
| #4 | Euryfox | 48% | 602 |
| #5 | XziBiTWaR | 48% | 753 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Hashi^ 箸 | 47% | 583 |
| #7 | SMED | 46% | 126 |
| #8 | Molle | 45% | 201 |
| #9 | S1MPL1FI3D | 44% | 203 |
| #10 | jepperc | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XziBiTWaR | 11 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Splich^^ | 9 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Euryfox | 7 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Hashi^ 箸 | 6 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | SMED | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnJohn | 1597 | 0.16 | 51 min |
| #2 | XziBiTWaR | 1584 | 0.09 | 36 min |
| #3 | Splich^^ | 1262 | 0.10 | 37 min |
| #4 | Hashi^ 箸 | 1028 | 0.08 | 34 min |
| #5 | Euryfox | 571 | 0.04 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnJohn | +2.93 | 54 | 74 |
| #2 | Hashi^ 箸 | +2.44 | 62 | 83 |
| #3 | SMED | +2.20 | 54 | 80 |
| #4 | jepperc | +1.07 | 40 | 73 |
| #5 | SUPREME KING | +1.01 | 63 | 58 |





