








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1559 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 589 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 247 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7611 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7328 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7579 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7686 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,032,819 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Splich^^ | 50% | 342 |
| #2 | Euryfox | 49% | 327 |
| #3 | SMED | 49% | 180 |
| #4 | S1MPL1FI3D | 48% | 84 |
| #5 | UnifoX | 47% | 583 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | UnifoX | 47% | 583 |
| #6 | XziBiTWaR | 47% | 494 |
| #7 | JohnJohn | 45% | 211 |
| #8 | SUPREME KING | 44% | 52 |
| #9 | Molle | 38% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Splich^^ | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | SMED | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | UnifoX | 2 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | Euryfox | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | XziBiTWaR | 1 | 0.0001 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XziBiTWaR | 1009 | 0.09 | 23 min |
| #2 | UnifoX | 878 | 0.07 | 22 min |
| #3 | Splich^^ | 786 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #4 | JohnJohn | 631 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #5 | SMED | 485 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnJohn | +2.26 | 55 | 73 |
| #2 | Hashi^ 箸 | +2.16 | 61 | 83 |
| #3 | SMED | +1.60 | 54 | 80 |
| #4 | Splich^^ | +0.45 | 64 | 81 |
| #5 | SUPREME KING | +0.03 | 69 | 60 |





