








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 482 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3819 | 15% |
| Smokes | 6130 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8513 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 7070 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,882,956 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUPREME KING | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | SMED | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | Splich^^ | 50% | 315 |
| #4 | Hashi^ 箸 | 49% | 327 |
| #5 | JohnJohn | 49% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | UnifoX | 48% | 602 |
| #7 | XziBiTWaR | 47% | 451 |
| #8 | S1MPL1FI3D | 45% | 126 |
| #9 | Molle | 45% | 121 |
| #10 | jepperc | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hashi^ 箸 | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | XziBiTWaR | 5 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Splich^^ | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | SMED | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | UnifoX | 2 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnifoX | 950 | 0.07 | 24 min |
| #2 | XziBiTWaR | 901 | 0.09 | 21 min |
| #3 | JohnJohn | 882 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #4 | Splich^^ | 724 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #5 | Hashi^ 箸 | 524 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnJohn | +3.58 | 56 | 74 |
| #2 | SMED | +3.08 | 55 | 80 |
| #3 | Hashi^ 箸 | +2.52 | 61 | 82 |
| #4 | SUPREME KING | +2.29 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | jepperc | +1.96 | 39 | 73 |





