








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1006 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 448 matches | ||
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 143 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7868 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8580 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8066 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5336 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,425,740 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 522 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | UnifoX | 49% | 540 |
| #8 | S1MPL1FI3D | 48% | 139 |
| #9 | Molle | 48% | 73 |
| #10 | XziBiTWaR | 46% | 488 |
| #11 | jepperc | 40% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XziBiTWaR | 7 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Euryfox | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | UnifoX | 5 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Hashi^ 箸 | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | S1MPL1FI3D | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XziBiTWaR | 1018 | 0.09 | 24 min |
| #2 | UnifoX | 836 | 0.07 | 22 min |
| #3 | Hashi^ 箸 | 587 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #4 | JohnJohn | 340 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | Euryfox | 289 | 0.04 | 8 min |





