








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 356 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3015 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1443 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 3025 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3435 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,687,505 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ♿ | 46% | 52 |
| #11 | ♿ | 46% | 103 |
| #12 | FHAT CARILLO UKKELI | 37% | 89 |
| #13 | Trin1tyfin | 35% | 57 |
| #14 | k0ijjari.- | 31% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uolevi | 26 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | c0dex97 | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ♿ | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Trin1tyfin | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | k0ijjari.- | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0dex97 | 433 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | uolevi | 354 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #3 | ♿ | 144 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mansikka | 131 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Trin1tyfin | 112 | 0.09 | 3 min |





