








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 197 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3686 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2360 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2125 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3467 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,973 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeLLo^^ | 78% | 40 |
| #2 | Zabaglione | 77% | 75 |
| #3 | Samoha | 73% | 182 |
| #4 | Dark knight dark soul sinner | 71% | 102 |
| #5 | 𝓛𝓋𝓛𝓋💗 | 69% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samoha | 21 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Qoo so good | 16 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | Zabaglione | 15 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | 𝓛𝓋𝓛𝓋💗 | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Return | 12 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qoo so good | 351 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Samoha | 287 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Return | 287 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Zabaglione | 137 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | 不嘻嘻 | 121 | 0.15 | 3 min |





