








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 653 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 372 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 239 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4759 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4815 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4327 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5351 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,752,288 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiramisu | 76% | 50 |
| #2 | MeLLo^^ | 74% | 34 |
| #3 | Zabaglione | 71% | 66 |
| #4 | Dark knight dark soul sinner | 70% | 30 |
| #5 | Samoha | 70% | 222 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BLYAT MAN | 51 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | 搞啥阿老哥 | 32 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | 𝓛𝓋𝓛𝓋💗 | 31 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Samoha | 25 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Zabaglione | 18 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BLYAT MAN | 717 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | 不嘻嘻 | 650 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | Qoo so good | 550 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #4 | 搞啥阿老哥 | 328 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | Samoha | 327 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dark knight dark soul sinner | +5.31 | 89 | 39 |
| #2 | ななみ | +3.47 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | Tiramisu | +3.31 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | Zabaglione | +3.05 | 64 | 43 |
| #5 | Samoha | +2.45 | 73 | 66 |





