








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 302 matches | ||
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 70 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 927 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1173 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1138 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1272 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $134,659 of utility $9 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dark knight dark soul sinner | 72% | 83 |
| #2 | Samoha | 70% | 162 |
| #3 | ăȘăȘăż | 69% | 182 |
| #4 | MeLLo^^ | 69% | 74 |
| #5 | Zabaglione | 69% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Return | 33 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Zabaglione | 30 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | æć„éżèć„ | 15 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Samoha | 15 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | BLYAT MAN | 13 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Return | 448 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | äžć»ć» | 364 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | ăȘăȘăż | 359 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Qoo so good | 358 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #5 | Zabaglione | 319 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dark knight dark soul sinner | +5.19 | 91 | 35 |
| #2 | Zabaglione | +3.50 | 75 | 50 |
| #3 | ăȘăȘăż | +3.06 | 86 | 53 |
| #4 | Tiramisu | +3.03 | 74 | 51 |
| #5 | Samoha | +2.04 | 72 | 70 |





