








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 983 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 477 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 323 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6276 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7847 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8831 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8137 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,762,894 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Qoo so good | 67% | 248 |
| #9 | bombardino crocodilo | 66% | 82 |
| #10 | BLYAT MAN | 64% | 242 |
| #11 | Jun | 64% | 229 |
| #12 | Tiramisu | 62% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qoo so good | 44 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | BLYAT MAN | 32 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Return | 32 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | 𝓛𝓋𝓛𝓋💗 | 24 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Zabaglione | 23 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qoo so good | 1076 | 0.23 | 27 min |
| #2 | BLYAT MAN | 573 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | Return | 556 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | ななみ | 441 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | 不嘻嘻 | 388 | 0.15 | 9 min |





