








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




162 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10712 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6844 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5774 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4257 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4605 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,797,833 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3709 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOBY | 62% | 58 |
| #2 | paulie | 60% | 60 |
| #3 | Teenis Envy | 57% | 475 |
| #4 | smaashed | 55% | 182 |
| #5 | jebediah | 55% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Captain Jailbait | 55% | 176 |
| #7 | 同性愛な黒人 poo sheisty | 54% | 390 |
| #8 | BamBamCam | 54% | 253 |
| #9 | Mr. Frown | 54% | 310 |
| #10 | chloppap | 44% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teenis Envy | 83 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Mr. Frown | 53 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | 同性愛な黒人 poo sheisty | 52 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | smaashed | 35 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | Captain Jailbait | 32 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 同性愛な黒人 poo sheisty | 1566 | 0.20 | 32 min |
| #2 | Teenis Envy | 1499 | 0.16 | 35 min |
| #3 | Mr. Frown | 513 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | smaashed | 399 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | BamBamCam | 381 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paintball Dave | +6.48 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | Teenis Envy | +1.39 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | smaashed | +0.84 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | paulie | +0.66 | 73 | 64 |
| #5 | TOBY | -0.12 | 59 | 56 |





