








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




126 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3091 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2989 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3876 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3280 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,365 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2697 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smaashed | 56% | 68 |
| #2 | poo twoo | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | Teenis Envy | 55% | 146 |
| #4 | Paintball Dave | 54% | 310 |
| #5 | hectorricardo973 | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paintball Dave | 698 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | 同性愛な黒人 poo sheisty | 637 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | poo threee | 398 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | poo twoo | 395 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #5 | Teenis Envy | 379 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paintball Dave | +6.76 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | poo threee | +6.64 | 78 | 40 |
| #3 | Teenis Envy | +2.27 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | hectorricardo973 | +2.10 | 72 | 62 |
| #5 | smaashed | +1.81 | 76 | 63 |





