








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




100 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8059 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3426 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5611 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4575 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,986 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1456 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mr. Frown | 51% | 160 |
| #8 | paulie | 49% | 39 |
| #9 | BamBamCam | 43% | 168 |
| #10 | Captain Jailbait | 41% | 148 |
| #11 | chloppap | 30% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paintball Dave | 77 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Teenis Envy | 64 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | Captain Jailbait | 39 | 0.0140 |
| #4 | Mr. Frown | 29 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | BamBamCam | 27 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teenis Envy | 972 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | Paintball Dave | 962 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #3 | Mr. Frown | 263 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | smaashed | 253 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | BamBamCam | 244 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paintball Dave | +7.24 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | paulie | +2.13 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | Teenis Envy | +1.99 | 68 | 59 |
| #4 | smaashed | +0.72 | 73 | 64 |
| #5 | TOBY | +0.57 | 63 | 50 |





