








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1095 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 106 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6164 | 25% |
| Smokes | 9614 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 3979 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4565 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,065,283 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT | 66% | 91 |
| #2 | Rum enjoyer | 62% | 68 |
| #3 | con | 61% | 121 |
| #4 | jzx enjoyer | 59% | 115 |
| #5 | shouldnt | 57% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | con | 61% | 121 |
| #4 | jzx enjoyer | 59% | 115 |
| #5 | shouldnt | 57% | 61 |
| #6 | Nagger Knocker | 54% | 54 |
| #7 | BrisK | 52% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | con | 20 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | jzx enjoyer | 12 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Rum enjoyer | 12 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | BOT | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | shouldnt | 6 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jzx enjoyer | 475 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | con | 270 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | shouldnt | 189 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Rum enjoyer | 187 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | BOT | 148 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shouldnt | +3.54 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | jzx enjoyer | +2.91 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | BrisK | +2.58 | 70 | 45 |
| #4 | Firefox | +2.12 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | con | +0.81 | 66 | 56 |





