








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




123 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5431 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5354 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5898 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4316 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4748 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,358,204 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jzx enjoyer | 29 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | BrisK | 12 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Mentally challenged | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Firefox | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Nagger Knocker | 6 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jzx enjoyer | 947 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | Mentally challenged | 267 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Firefox | 162 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nagger Knocker | 144 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Strangely Wrapped 3 Series | 124 | 0.05 | 2 min |





