








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,006 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7461 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7699 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4343 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6503 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,184,053 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BrisK | 54% | 359 |
| #4 | Rum enjoyer | 51% | 215 |
| #5 | Strangely Wrapped 3 Series | 50% | 66 |
| #6 | Nagger Knocker | 43% | 67 |
| #7 | Mentally challenged | 41% | 58 |





