








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1709 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2005 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2131 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 597 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $506,695 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jzx enjoyer | 1282 | 0.18 | 28 min |
| #2 | Rum enjoyer | 338 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Nagger Knocker | 185 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Firefox | 126 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mentally challenged | 94 | 0.10 | 2 min |





