








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 776 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1266 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1722 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1404 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $396,191 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BombCarrier | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | MaTriX E▲SY Bot | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | SWiCK | 64% | 72 |
| #4 | PotatoMees | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | ★LePapa | 59% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ★Noileuz♡ | 55% | 75 |
| #8 | vaCCa_ee | 52% | 23 |
| #9 | LOL | 50% | 14 |
| #10 | Viron kenraali | 50% | 34 |
| #11 | ★hRv- | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★LePapa | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | SWiCK | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ★Noileuz♡ | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Viron kenraali | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | MaTriX E▲SY Bot | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWiCK | 221 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | ★Noileuz♡ | 186 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | ★LePapa | 164 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Viron kenraali | 71 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | sordimaffia | 58 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ida-rannik cheesy | +4.00 | 72 | 58 |
| #2 | ★LePapa | +1.64 | 66 | 61 |
| #3 | SWiCK | +0.79 | 54 | 79 |
| #4 | PotatoMees | -0.35 | 46 | 54 |
| #5 | ★hRv- | -1.15 | 58 | 55 |





