








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 776 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3211 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2232 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1429 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2488 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,211 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1622 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoonGoon2009 | 93% | 15 |
| #2 | 𝔇𝔢𝔩𝔱𝔞 | 85% | 20 |
| #3 | (N.W.A) Gustav | 80% | 15 |
| #4 | MythicalWombat | 74% | 31 |
| #5 | Jett | 71% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jett | 71% | 68 |
| #6 | tobbz_fpv | 52% | 23 |
| #7 | ✪commanderLandbier | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | Schamaiga Fieling | 46% | 35 |
| #9 | ObiSwagKenobi | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔇𝔢𝔩𝔱𝔞 | 6 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | Jett | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Schamaiga Fieling | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | MythicalWombat | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | GoonGoon2009 | 2 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jett | 129 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Schamaiga Fieling | 108 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | MythicalWombat | 72 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | 𝔇𝔢𝔩𝔱𝔞 | 67 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | (N.W.A) Gustav | 46 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔇𝔢𝔩𝔱𝔞 | +9.37 | 97 | 80 |
| #2 | Jett | +4.30 | 83 | 51 |
| #3 | Mit Raffinesse in die Fresse | +3.20 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | ✪commanderLandbier | +2.66 | 82 | 64 |
| #5 | GoonGoon2009 | +2.20 | 68 | 32 |





