










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 212 | 54% |
| Smokes | 52 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 65 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 65 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $128,274 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sjif-fis | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Me2 | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Eskipop | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | jhonny skygge | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Andy | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sjif-fis | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Me2 | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Eskipop | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | jhonny skygge | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Andy | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Eskipop | 2 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | sjif-fis | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | jhonny skygge | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Me2 | 39 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Eskipop | 25 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #4 | jhonny skygge | 23 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | sjif-fis | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy | +3.73 | 65 | 33 |
| #2 | Me2 | +3.32 | 65 | 68 |
| #3 | jhonny skygge | +2.11 | 51 | 61 |
| #4 | sjif-fis | +0.30 | 77 | 43 |
| #5 | Eskipop | -0.41 | 58 | 34 |





