








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
731 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 554 | 36% |
| Smokes | 286 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 415 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 302 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,722 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jhonny skygge | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | Velle | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Andy | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | sjif-fis | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Me2 | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jhonny skygge | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | Velle | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Andy | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | sjif-fis | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Me2 | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jhonny skygge | 13 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | Andy | 8 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | sjif-fis | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Me2 | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Velle | 2 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Me2 | 83 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | jhonny skygge | 62 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | sjif-fis | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Andy | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Velle | 7 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Me2 | +3.63 | 68 | 60 |
| #2 | Eskipop | +0.01 | 67 | 39 |
| #3 | jhonny skygge | -0.13 | 44 | 52 |
| #4 | sjif-fis | -0.22 | 79 | 36 |
| #5 | Andy | -0.38 | 51 | 53 |





