








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 177 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 633 | 19% |
| Smokes | 960 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 607 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1064 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $392,384 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chr1stus | 81% | 32 |
| #2 | ㉑ Banzeba | 79% | 53 |
| #3 | DESEMPREGADO E PERIGOSO | 73% | 49 |
| #4 | dfk | 65% | 95 |
| #5 | Bmf | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DESEMPREGADO E PERIGOSO | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | dfk | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Chr1stus | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Bmf | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | ㉑ Banzeba | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dfk | 271 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Chr1stus | 104 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | ㉑ Banzeba | 103 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | DESEMPREGADO E PERIGOSO | 97 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | ggg | 50 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㉑ Banzeba | +3.93 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | dfk | +2.79 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | DESEMPREGADO E PERIGOSO | +2.55 | 85 | 52 |
| #4 | Chr1stus | +2.47 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | Bmf | -0.81 | 50 | 66 |





