








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1230 | 45% |
| Smokes | 373 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 646 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 461 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $777,621 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Gurggu | 38% | 40 |
| #12 | DiddyBlud_67_NIKLAS_PENTTILÄ | 36% | 25 |
| #13 | גלגןרפטחרח כלרחט | 35% | 17 |
| #14 | jor | 33% | 33 |
| #15 | arska | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gurggu | 13 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | DiddyBlud_67_NIKLAS_PENTTILÄ | 12 | 0.0241 |
| #3 | NikkeGOAT | 12 | 0.0262 |
| #4 | Juhussi / | 8 | 0.0213 |
| #5 | jor | 6 | 0.0087 |





