








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1050 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4091 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6503 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 4397 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3167 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $943,258 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 959 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamal | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Petteri | 57% | 86 |
| #3 | גלגןרפטחרח כלרחט | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Kyle Gru | 52% | 52 |
| #5 | jor | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kyle Gru | 52% | 52 |
| #5 | jor | 52% | 54 |
| #6 | Ebu | 50% | 244 |
| #7 | Gurggu | 50% | 165 |
| #8 | La1skabandit.gg | 47% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ebu | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Gurggu | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | גלגןרפטחרח כלרחט | 10 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | La1skabandit.gg | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Petteri | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ebu | 321 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | Petteri | 248 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Gurggu | 224 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | La1skabandit.gg | 159 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kyle Gru | 114 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamal | +1.60 | 65 | 61 |
| #2 | Petteri | +0.94 | 59 | 49 |
| #3 | Kyle Gru | +0.89 | 55 | 52 |
| #4 | arska | +0.73 | 57 | 68 |
| #5 | La1skabandit.gg | +0.60 | 49 | 47 |





