








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 501 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7177 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6357 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7388 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6871 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,696,247 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 637 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Squirrel | 53% | 247 |
| #10 | Nomadde HD | 52% | 208 |
| #11 | RealDarkKnight | 47% | 81 |
| #12 | Vinchen<3 | 46% | 359 |
| #13 | spacesLP™ | 46% | 287 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luckster | 25 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Squirrel | 23 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Nomadde HD | 21 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | HowlyShiet | 16 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Vinchen<3 | 10 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luckster | 584 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | Squirrel | 497 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | Nomadde HD | 492 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | Vinchen<3 | 464 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #5 | HowlyShiet | 402 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluchseuchschträjer | +4.23 | 84 | 76 |
| #2 | Mr.Smith ツ | +3.98 | 81 | 81 |
| #3 | StR1k3r | +3.56 | 87 | 72 |
| #4 | Luckster | +3.17 | 84 | 46 |
| #5 | HowlyShiet | +3.15 | 87 | 71 |





