








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 372 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2283 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3094 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4070 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3455 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,665,965 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluchseuchschträjer | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | Mr.Smith ツ | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | weekend. ♥ R | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | HowlyShiet | 59% | 158 |
| #5 | Luckster | 59% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knorrr | 37 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | HowlyShiet | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Nomadde HD | 11 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Luckster | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Mr.Smith ツ | 7 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knorrr | 779 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | HowlyShiet | 437 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | StR1k3r | 370 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | Mr.Smith ツ | 195 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Nomadde HD | 179 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fluchseuchschträjer | +5.64 | 89 | 74 |
| #2 | HowlyShiet | +2.74 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | Mr.Smith ツ | +2.64 | 84 | 78 |
| #4 | Luckster | +2.57 | 82 | 47 |
| #5 | StR1k3r | +2.32 | 87 | 72 |





